I think it’s time to come back.
How much does an unfinished story suck? I know I hate it. I didn’t intend to leave everyone hanging for so long, but as the responsibilities started piling up–most especially as I finished Worlds Apart in an effort to get it off to my agent–it got easier and easier to not blog. Sure, I jotted down blog notes every couple days and saved them as drafts, but you don’t want to read notes. Notes are boring. Notes are incomplete. Notes lack flavor. Pizazz.
Those notes were supposed to be used to resume the story of our double unemployment from where I left off, and then I was just going to continue it forward with blog after blog after blog.
I’m not going to do that.
What I am going to do instead is fill you in on everything that’s happened since I stopped updating in one go, right here. But first, let’s talk about why I stopped updating in the first place.
The truth is, the constant pressure of chronicling our double unemployment journey every day was not an issue in the beginning when everything was new and different, but as time wore on it all got to be repetitive and I had to drag the blogs out of me kicking and screaming. And biting. Some blogs bit hard because they were wild and not house trained and peed on me.
The point is, unemployment is not exciting. (Who knew?) It’s deadly boring and sad. It’s just sad. I can’t even make a joke about it without making people feel uncomfortable and sorry for us. And if I can’t joke, am I really even alive? Do I even feel? Do I breathe? Do I exist?
Well, let me tell you, according the employers of the world, no, I do not exist.
See? Not funny.
Let’s do this. Let’s break out the bullet points (because everyone loves bullet points, right?) and run down everything that’s happened since October 31st, 2014 (holy crud) in one go. Ready? Read:
• I went on two different dates with two different women in one day. In the afternon, I ate seafood with my daughter Cami, and in the evening I went to dinner and a movie (St. Vincent with Bill Murray–great movie!) with Erin.
• Erin got bold and contacted an acquaintance who is also a Pharmaceutical Rep about how to break into his industry. He is now mentoring her because the blessings are kind of nonstop like that.
• While watching the Marvel 75th Anniversary television special on ABC, I noticed a piece of art created by my SuperFogeys cohort Marc Lapierre was featured prominently and by mistake. I contacted the comics media and the story soon went viral, resulting in Marc actually getting compensated for his work! It was awesome. You can read the whole story here.
• Cami started SCREECHING whenever she feels joy. The screeching makes me feel anger, so, one day, I yelled at her. I am a horrible person.
• I FINALLY heard back about the job in San Francisco. They decided to halt the hiring process. That was a tough day.
• Erin explored selling life insurance. Decided definitively that it was not for her because you actually have to pay money to start. There’s some legal rigamarole that explains why that is, but I’ll skip to the conclusion: it’s stupid.
• Saw Big Hero 6 with the family. Cami made it through 60 seconds before melting down. She and I spent the rest of the movie in the lobby. Movie theaters used to be one of her favorite places so this was tragic on a level I can’t even explain.
• I got a real solid lead on a job with a local school district. I applied, they decided a month later that I, as someone who does not have classroom experience, am not qualified for a job that does not require me to teach in a classroom. (Can you hear the heavy sigh?)
• Cami got whooping cough despite having been vaccinated against it. Then she got pneumonia. Her body is getting weaker and her doctor advised us to keep her away from kids who have not been vaccinated whenever possible. This is almost entirely impossible. I’m so glad people love polio so much.
• After reaching a peak place where the stress of unemployment was wearing on us to the point that Erin and I were arguing and angry at each other every day, we fell off that cliff and arrived a sort of serene, peaceful place together. Stress gets to us like it does everyone else, but if I could identify one of the true strengths of our marriage it’s that we always, always, always pull together when it counts. Also, it helps when I finally clean the fan blades and bring her flowers.
• Wrote a blog entitled “Perfect Attendance Awards are an Abomination” and never published it.
• Suffered from insomnia. A lot.
• Finished Worlds Apart and gave it to Erin to read. She had many notes, which is fair since she’s a main character. Made many revisions.
• Batman, one of our two dogs, snuck into Cami’s room during her whooping cough fits and insisted on sleeping next to her for several nights until she was through the worst of it.
• Erin got a call to come interview with another local company and it went EXTREMELY well. Almost two months later and they still haven’t hired for the position, but we still hold out hope.
• I spent Thanksgiving sick out of my mind, away from family, and watching special features on a Hobbit Blu-ray all day long. (I’m entering the preceding sentence in a “Saddest Story Ever” contest.)
• (No, I’m not.)
• The group I’m in charge of at church put on a very successful Turkey Bowl activity at which I played football for the first time in 15 years. I was… not very good.
• Erin and I attended a combo Hmong/Protestant wedding. Besides how lovely the couple and the ceremony were, the MC, who also acted as translator for the evening, was the best. Actual quote: “Now we will have the speech from the Best Man. It is called the Best Man Speech.”
• Erin got sick. A lot.
• Broke a handle on my car.
• Left the garage door open one night by accident. Thieves stole our GPS, a scooter, and all of the personal items I packed up on my last day at the job (including hundreds of dollars worth of comics).
• Wrote a blog entitled “Dear Future Employer” to address the people who say this blog is a bad idea. Posted it for 60 seconds before getting a sick feeling in my stomach and pulling it down. Not sure why. The one person who managed to read it was very complimentary.
• I was drafted to create a slideshow video of photos and home movies from families at church for the Ward Christmas Party. I did, I think, a pretty decent job on it.
• The additional time spent at home means I have grown immeasurably closer to our youngest, Violet. That may be worth all the unemployment trouble by itself. For example, one morning we just took her to the zoo. Because we could.
• Erin and Elora presented together at EPU, a local group that helps families with young children with special needs. Elora, 12, who talked about her experiences as Cami’s sister, is the youngest person to ever present for EPU (she presented when she was 10).
• Erin and I both had occasional, what-the-crud-has-happened-to-our-lives freakouts.
• Tremendum Pictures, a locally based film and video production company with a movie, The Gallows, coming out this summer from New Line Cinema, asked to meet with me. They are looking to grow and want me to come on board. They’re small right now, but… yes, please. Not a job, per se, but lots of potential. Going full steam ahead with them for as long as I can. Doesn’t solve all our problems, but it’s promising.
• Erin and I went up to the Portland/Vancouver area to visit my brothers, McKay and Tyler, and their wives, McKenna and Karen. It was wonderful to get away from the stress and worry and complication of our normal lives for a little while.
• McKay and McKenna asked me to read them chapters of Worlds Apart out loud. I happily obliged. The instant gratification of their laughter and guffaws was exhilarating. I get why stage actors do it.
• I spent an afternoon at Powell’s Books in Portland just writing on my laptop. I now have my very own Hipster badge.
• While were were in Vancouver/Portland, every single one of our leads for paying jobs dried up. Four months in, we went back to square one.
• Our oldest, Elora, got her braces off. Suddenly, she’s ten years older.
• Just before Christmas, we were blessed by kind people and their giving hearts.
• Missed the Family Christmas Eve Party because some of the kids attending were not vaccinated. I was bummed, but having Cami has always required sacrifices. We make them gladly.
• Found out a close friend also lost his job. Great, now we’re contagious.
• Erin’s parents took us all to Disneyland, an annual tradition ever since a trip we took years ago during which Cami came alive in a whole new way. The past couple of years have been rough for Cami as she’s developed an aversion to large crowds and dark places, but we stumbled on a solution when we gave her a toy to fidget with and she found her happy place. I had a much more difficult time enjoying myself. Couldn’t help walking around the park and feeling like an outsider as I considered the employed state of everyone around me.
• Post Christmas, peace reigned. A disturbing amount of peace. Peace, despite still-present moments of freaking out, became our overriding state of being.
• Sent Worlds Apart out to beta readers, along with a link to an online survey to facilitate their feedback. This was the right move. Most of the 10 readers read it within 24 hours of starting it. It’s a heartwarming, romantic comedy page-turner with lots of tension and suspense, which is awesome.
• Took Cami to see Annie in the movie theater, risking another meltdown. This time, I took the fidget toy we bought in Disneyland and that did the trick. Cami friggin’ loved the music.
• Rang in the New Year up in Bass Lake with friends and board games, just like last year. We would happily continue this tradition for years to come. This year has to be better than last, right?
• Met with a client with Tremendum for the first time to formulate ideas for a marketing video. I’m going to have a blast with these guys. If I can turn this into my job then everything that’s happened will suddenly make a whole lot of sense to me.
• Cami’s body might be betraying her. A bone density scan shows that her bones are soft and, fearing that her body’s small size might mean bad things internally, we went up to San Francisco to meet with her neurologist. She allayed our fears for the most part (the size of her organs compared to her frame–the biggest potential problem–is really only an issue if she isn’t mobile), but we still need to meet with endocrinologists to determine what’s really going on. This is our constant roller coaster with Cami. There’s no real diagnosis for her issues and we have no real idea of how long we can expect her to be with us. So we enjoy what we can, which this time included walking through Fisherman’s Wharf and Pier 39 with her and watching the sea lions.
• Sent Worlds Apart to my agent. She burned through it quickly, just like the beta readers, and loved it. Now we’ve gotta find the right publisher. It’s an unusual book that doesn’t end in the way I think most readers will expect. Is that a good thing? Bad thing? We’ll see.
• Erin figured out that, above all, this is a trial of patience. I can’t disagree with that.
Annnnnnd you’re all caught up. This info dump brought to you by: my guilt. Now that I’ve done away with all those blogs I didn’t write, I’m free to do things a bit differently.
No more “Day This” and “Day That.” That’s done. The unemployment continues, but I think from this point forward I’ll be a much better blogger if I just write about what’s happening, not when it’s happening. Topics and events, not days. It will free me up quite a bit and hopefully prove more interesting for all of you. How does that sound?
Thanks for sticking with me this long. Always nice to know people are out there who care. Let’s see how this all ends together.
18 thoughts on “Days 64 – 139: Here’s Everything That Happened While I Was Out”
Still reading, here in England. I worried what had happened to you all. (Strange how we get tied up with other people.) So thanks for the update and as usual, thanks for your honesty. Sounds grim but you seem to be getting through it.the best way you know how. Erin is so beautiful. Elora looks cool and Cami is a sweetie. Love Denise
Thank you, as always, for your encouragement and support, Denise.
All things told, I’m a pretty lucky guy. And all the reasons are in the pictures above.
Am very glad to have this update (ghastly though some of it is!). Thanks for bringing us up to speed, rejoining us, and letting us continue your journey beside you from here on out. Look forward to it very much!
Yep, still out here! Looking forward to being a more frequent presence from here on out. Wish me luck.
I also read the blog to your future employer, and thought it was great. It really showed your true colors and spirit. Thanks for the catch up, and I really want to read Worlds Apart, especially since I just finished the book I was reading… if you need another reader, let me know.
I may yet still post “Dear Future Employer.” I had no idea two people read it, but that’s good to know.
I don’t need any other readers at this time, but should a future draft require them I will definitely keep you in mind. Thanks, Ashley!
I’ve been silently stalking your adventures (<—probably not the right word) and just last week I found myself wondering what ever happened with you guys so I looked on all your pages (ok…your two facebook pages) and saw your posts about your book going to the editor. I thought maybe you had given up the hunt and were going the way of freelance authorship. Sounds like it's not been quite so simple. In any case, best of luck in your ongoing pursuit of the life you deserve.
p.s. What happened with Erin's pharm. rep. friend/mentor? Is she doing that now, or did she decide against it? Sorry if you already addressed that and my reading comprehension just stinks.
No, there’s nothing simple about being an author/writer. It’s a rare person who can make a go of it as a living. I’d love to find some way to make it work, but so far I haven’t quite found the right path.
I may have lost the Pharm Rep plot a bit up there, but essentially nothing has changed. He continues to be a great mentor as Erin inches nearer breaking in. Don’t know if she will, but she’s the closest she’s ever been right now.
I came aboard late but glad to see an update. I think I replied to you before.
If you knew my long and off kilter story, you would probably get it. I had one of those long bouts of unemployment that just seemed to crazy to be true. It included being offered jobs that were not actually approved by Human Resources then being asked to wait it out for a few months to see how it pans out and also amassing an amazing ten interviews with the same company. I was shuffled around from position to position because they were a better fit. I felt like I was an actual employee there because I could say hello to different people that I had previously. Then they went with an internal candidate. I also lost a lot of savings and jettisoned a lot of luxuries.
But…I ended up making my blog and trying to write again which was nice. In my down and out phase, I visited a Christian based job agency and pantry and wound up volunteering. I volunteered for two years. What was my job? I helped people with zero computer skills find employment! When I started I was unemployed and helping others land a job. Then finally I stumbled upon employment from an old co-hort. I am still there trying to right the S.S. Titanic of Finances. Not a fan of the job but I am working.
On a positive note…I am doing better. I see the unemployed with completely different eyes. In fact, I see the world differently than I did five years ago. I do not think many can understand unless they were in our shoes. Nothing is more baffling than going to a job counselor and being told that your resume is great and that they would hire you.
It is just the economy he said! By the way, I know I need quotations around my quote but my quotation button no longer works on my old lap top. Another hold over from my unemployment…but we will get by!
Have a great weekend and I am hoping for the best for you both!
Yes indeed I did find much to identify with our story here. You’re right about the perspective shift. I’m glad to say I never had any vitriol reserved for the unemployed in the first place, but certainly now my view of them (us) is 10x more charitable than it was.
Sometimes there is no sense to the matter and then you see that what matters most is that there is matter. You have family and friends and that is good matter. Build on that and the future will come.
In a very real sense, you just described networking.
Glad to see another post, but sorry to hear it wasn’t “We found jobs”! I’m 14 months along in my unemployment journey, and all I can say is “keep the faith”. This can’t go on FOREVER. Can it? Sigh…
I sometimes wonder that as well, “Is it possible this will never end?”
But it seems a foolish thought, so my answer has to be “no.” Here’s hoping we both get happy endings soon.
Glad you resurfaced. Your struggle is a book in and of itself, and your honesty is refreshing. If your blog writing style is similar to your book writing style, you’ve hooked me. Sending you and your fam positive vibes.
My style in the book is not too different from these blogs, just much more polished. I try to be very honest, some say it’s “raw,” and I think everything goes down better with humor. Been thinking of posting a few excerpts, if there’s interest.
In an case, thanks for the vibes!
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